Things She'll Never Say
by Paravie
Summary: Mai tries to talk to Zuko. Much stuttering follows. Childhood Maiko.


**I'm going on the fact that Mai is three years younger than Zuko.**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.**

**~.~.~.~.~**

Mai tugged at her hair.

"H-Hey, Zuko."

The young boy looked up from the scroll he was reading.

"What do you want?" he asked suspiciously.

Pulling at her clothes, Mai nervously approached him.

"Whatcha reading?" she asked.

Warily, Zuko held up the scroll so she could see the title. "The Tales of Agni."

"That- That's cool." Cool. Mai was trying to keep hers. She knew it showed. Luckily, Zuko wasn't very observant.

"Okay, Mai. Where's Azula? And Ty Lee? What's their plan, and why did they put you up to it?"

Staring at her feet, Mai felt her cheeks turn bright red. "A-Azula's at firebending practice. Ty Lee's at some circus audition. I-I just wanted to see what you were doing."

Narrowing his eyes, Zuko said, "Okay. You've seen."

He turned his head back to his scroll.

Mai searched her head for something to say. She was so nervous, trying to act perfect in front of Zuko. She came up blank.

"O-Okay. I'll… See you around."

Stumbling out of Fire Lady Ursa's garden, she made her way to Azula's bedroom. Closing the door, she leaned against it.

Letting out a sigh of frustration, she spoke to herself. "I blew it. Why do I always mess up in front of you? You're so worth it. And cute…"

Looking across the room, Mai saw a knife on Azula's nightstand. Grabbing it, she threw it at the wall with all her might. The 9-year-old hit the wall exactly where she had been aiming.

Surprised, she went to where the knife had embedded itself in the wall. She smiled to herself as she pulled it out. She had never been one for talking much. Her parents had taught her to never speak unless spoken to. But she had liked the feeling she got when she threw that knife. It made her feel… In control.

Unlike how she felt when she tried to talk to Zuko.

_If I could say what I want to say… I want to blow you away. I want to be with you every day! Is that squeezing you to tight? If I could say what I want to see… I want to see you go down on one knee. I would SO marry you today! But I can't. I'm just wishing my life away with these things I'll never say.  
>~*~*~ <em>

"Hey, Mai."

Mai looked up at the person speaking to her. Surprisingly, she saw Zuko.

"Hi, Zuko."

He sat next to where she was throwing Azula's knife at a wall. There were several gouges that hadn't been there before. And she had hit every one exactly where she had aimed for.

"What are you doing?"

She felt her heartbeat speed up, and blood rush to her cheeks. Her gaze fixed itself on the young, raven-haired boy. "Why do you care?"

"I don't know. I was just asking, geeze." He didn't move from where he was sitting.

_This isn't doing me anything. It's just a waste of time if I can't say what I want to. Why does he want to know, anyway? If it's not coming out, we're not going anywhere. Why can't I just tell him that I care?_

"I'm… throwing stuff." She was sweating profoundly due to nervousness.

Zuko's eyes flicked to the knife in her hand, then back to her face. "Just… Just don't hurt yourself."

He slowly got up, still staring at her face. Mai broke eye contact and stared at the wall. She tried to ignore her racing heart.

"I-I'll try."

_Did he really care about if she got hurt or not?_

He slowly left. As soon as he did, Mai threw the knife with a shout.

"Gah! Why didn't I say anything?"

She just sat there staring at the knife for a while, lost in her thoughts.

_Why am I so nervous trying to be so perfect? He's worth it… So why can't I say what I want to say? I want to blow him away and be with him all the time. But is that squeezing him to tight? Ugh. Why can't I say what I want to see? I want to see him go down on one knee. I want to marry him today! Ugh. I'm just wishing my life away with these things I'll never say._

Retrieving the knife, she folded it up and slipped it in her bootleg. That was the first of many.  
>~*~*~<p>

Mai saw him up ahead. She would have to pass him in the hall if she wanted to get to where Azula told her to meet her today.

Inhaling, she prepared herself. Exhaling, she started walking.

Zuko looked up when he heard her approaching.

"Hi, Mai."

"Hi, Zuko."

She stopped walking.

"Where're you headed?"

She swallowed, heart pounding. "Azula… Asked me to meet her. On the training grounds. Soon."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "You'd better go find her then. She hates being kept waiting."

Mai subconsciously nodded. "Ye-yeah. I'll do that. Thanks, Zuko."

Stumbling away, she silently cursed herself.

_Gah! What's wrong with my tongue? My words keep slipping away! I stutter over them, like I've got nothing to say! I stumble over my own feet like a toddler! Why? Is it just because I'm so nervous, trying to be so perfect? He's so worth it, though! I'm just wishing my life away… Why can't I say what I want to say? I want to blow him away! I want to be with him all the time. But is that squeezing him too tight? If only I could say what I want to see. I WANT to see him go down on one knee. I would marry him today. But I'm just wishing my life away with these things I'll never say._

All these thoughts rushed through her head as she headed for the training grounds.


End file.
